Maclean's November 9th Issue

[kool maudit]

my comment. it will anger them i bet:

 

there are a lot of canadians who clearly derive satisfaction from the idea of a declining montreal, whether or not it's true.

 

as for me, i am anglo and happy here. canada? well... look: i suppose i have some residual warmth for it, but really, what am i supposed to do with it? move to calgary? toronto's great, but the rest is a bit outdoorsy, a bit suburban and a bit staid. it has too many of the sort of sunday-paper fist-shakers you see in this comments section. it's angrier than it lets on. it's a bit too much like maclean's magazine, actually.

[MartinMtl]

La majorité des commentaires publiés sur le site du magazine à la suite de cet article démontrent une haine viscérale envers Montréal et le Québec. C'est souvent tellement grossier que ça en devient tout simplement risible. Juste quelques exemples:

 

- Kudos to Maclean's for telling the truth about that garbage hole aka Montréal. The city should be demolished and most of its inhabitants should be in jail or deported.

 

- Montreal is a racist hell hole living off the reputation of its glory years ....

 

- Canada has nothing to learn from a spiritually and morally derelict province such as Quebec.

 

- No one is more convinced of the city's cultural superiority and greatness than Montrealers themselves. Probably because they never go anywhere, except maybe Hollywood Fl.

 

- Of course there are not as many imgrants as Toronto. No one wants to live there ... not even Quebecers.

 

- 100%. Montreal is a disaster ! The mass exodus of companies in the 70's and 80's has destroyed the vitality of the city. Montreal is a mickey mouse town ! The Expos left town 5 years ago and the Habs are a joke !

 

Et ainsi de suite...

[WestAust]

...the Habs are a joke !

 

J'espere que c'est pas qqn de Toronto qui as écris cela, car si les Habs sont une Joke, les Maple Laughs c'est quoi, une comedie!

[LindbergMTL]

La majorité des commentaires publiés sur le site du magazine à la suite de cet article démontrent une haine viscérale envers Montréal et le Québec. C'est souvent tellement grossier que ça en devient tout simplement risible. Juste quelques exemples:

 

- Kudos to Maclean's for telling the truth about that garbage hole aka Montréal. The city should be demolished and most of its inhabitants should be in jail or deported.

 

- Montreal is a racist hell hole living off the reputation of its glory years ....

 

- Canada has nothing to learn from a spiritually and morally derelict province such as Quebec.

 

- No one is more convinced of the city's cultural superiority and greatness than Montrealers themselves. Probably because they never go anywhere, except maybe Hollywood Fl.

 

- Of course there are not as many imgrants as Toronto. No one wants to live there ... not even Quebecers.

 

- 100%. Montreal is a disaster ! The mass exodus of companies in the 70's and 80's has destroyed the vitality of the city. Montreal is a mickey mouse town ! The Expos left town 5 years ago and the Habs are a joke !

 

Et ainsi de suite...

 

Les Habs sont-ils vraiment si mauvais que ça cette année?

[MartinMtl]

Dans une suite de commentaires qui décrivent Montréal comme un trou abominable, corrompu, hideux, décrépit, sale, infecte, etc., le seul commentaire qui suscite une réaction est celui sur les Canadiens... Trop drôle.

[LindbergMTL]

Dans une suite de commentaires qui décrivent Montréal comme un trou abominable, corrompu, hideux, décrépit, sale, infecte, etc., le seul commentaire qui suscite une réaction est celui sur les Canadiens... Trop drôle.

 

Un peu d'ironie pour vous faire part de ma pensée sur ces commentaires.

[MartinMtl]

Un peu d'ironie pour vous faire part de ma pensée sur ces commentaires.

 

Je sais, ça fait du bien.

[jesseps]

Bad publicity is good publicity LOL

 

As for Montreal sucking. They always do better then the Leafs. As for baseball, Toronto the only city in Canada that has a team. So I don't see their point.

 

Montreal > Toronto for culture in my honest opinion. If the person who wrote that article sees this, he can fuck himself LOL and no I don't travel to Hollywood, Florida so go fuck your self asshole.

[Newbie]

Welcome to Mafiaville! Let's embrace our bad boy image

 

 

By JOSH FREED, The GazetteNovember 7, 2009

 

 

 

If you're thinking of hitting the town tonight, ask yourself - is it worth the risk? Haven't you read the Nov. 9 Maclean's? There's a blaring cover story on Montreal, headlined:

 

MONTREAL IS A CORRUPT, CRUMBLING MOB-RIDDEN DISGRACE. WHAT WAS ONCE CANADA'S MOST GLAMOROUS CITY IS NOW A DISASTER. EVEN THE MAYOR FEARS FOR HIS LIFE.

 

Does that sound like somewhere to be out after dark?

 

Now don't get upset just because our "national" magazine has trashed our reputation. In fact, we should thank Maclean's for the PR. Our tourism is way down since the recession - while many rich travellers now prefer edgier vacations, from adventure tours to war-zone tourism.

 

How long can we sell ourselves as the Paris of North America when every city has French onion soup, café au lait and croissants? We need an edgy new image and Maclean's has given us one. Let's use it remarket Montreal as an exotic, exciting city of crime - Rio North.

 

Welcome to Mafiaville - make sure you hit all the sites:

 

Mob headquarters: Start your tour at city hall, where all our "gangsters" allegedly hang out, heavyweights like Gérald (Goodfella) Tremblay and Louise (Ma Merger) Harel. Apparently, people gather here brazenly to fix city construction contracts and pass around brown envelopes. Get them to sign one for you.

 

Don't just be an observer. Make a donation to a political party and you can get a construction contract too. Even a small donation will let you pave a pothole and keep a percentage of the asphalt for your driveway. Don't just visit Montreal, build it.

 

Beware: don't show up at city hall unexpected, unaccompanied and unarmed. Would you walk up to Tony Soprano's house and just ring the bell? Bada-bing! It's the same here, where someone might take out a contract - on you.

 

You could wind up deep-sixed in the St. Lawrence in a pair of cement shoes - only nowadays they've been replaced by heavier ones, known as "poutine shoes."

 

Gang life: Our Hell's Angels are all in jail or Toronto, which makes our streets less thrilling. But there are still many gangs to be seen by the perceptive tourist - you just have to spot their gang insignia. Our largest downtown gang wears red and white hoodies with the gang name McGill emblazoned on them. They're led by consigliere Heather (Mom-roe) Blum.

 

Another tough gang is known as the Syndicate, or Brotherhood. These are members of the notorious Blue-Collar gang that bomb about town, terrorizing pedestrians on lethal sidewalk snowploughs that are literal hit squads.

 

Keep your eye out for anti-gang cops too, like the SQ, not to be confused with the SAQ, or the SAAQ, the STQ, the SIQ, the SCCQ or the SOQUIJ. In Quebec, you can even get mugged by abbreviations.

 

Crumbling construction tours: Brazil sells tours of its favela slums while Paris offers tours of its sewer system. But neither can compare with our crumbling edifice tour that showcases the best of our government construction racket.

 

Take a thrilling walk beneath the Bibliothèque nationale, where glass panels crash down regularly. Enjoy a joy ride under the Laval overpass and the crumbling Turcotte Interchange. Don't miss the Big O, which has killed before and may kill again.

 

Yet why stop with our existing attractions, Montrealers? Let's forget the Cité des spectacles and build a new theme park at La Ronde - called Gangland. Instead of a haunted house, you'd tour a Mafia House, with pop-up gangsters who fire real bullets.

 

There are so many ways to make money with a mafia-tourist economy. We could rent a Kalashnikov to every tourist, or a bulletproof limousine. We could have tourist protection booths when they arrive - they'd pay some money to Montreal Protection Racket Inc. and be guaranteed not to get rubbed out.

 

To heighten the mob mood, we could turn Sherbrooke St. into Rue Bugsy Segal, Décarie Blvd. into Capone Expressway and Little Italy into Big Italy. We could rename the underground city the "Underworld City" to keep up with our new reputation.

 

The trick is to twist the truth, like Maclean's. In reality, it's hard to get killed in Montreal nowadays. Last year there were 29 homicides here, the lowest of any Canadian city, compared with 103 in Toronto, the gun capital of Canada. In Montreal there are few guns to be seen, just lots of Purell hand sanitizer dispensers.

 

Apart from the sleaze at city hall, we've practically become Montreal The Good. But why admit that and lose our sordid new Maclean's image. Instead let's embrace it - they've made us an offer we just can't refuse.

 

josh_freed@hotmail.com

© Copyright © The Montreal Gazette

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[jesseps]

Haha awesome Gazette article.